A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line, “OK, now what?”

Quote by: @ToonLover4502

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This isn't a joke, but more of a cheesy flirt I used. We were in stage crew, down in the woodshop, and I wanted to ask this girl out. So I took some chalk and made an "X", and when she came down, I started walking toward her, then pretended to trip. When she asked if I was OK, I said "Oh man, I must've fallen for you!"

We dated for a total of four days...